i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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