Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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