Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
