I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
