No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
