your thong is hanging out like whoa
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
