I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
