so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
