We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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