were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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