Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
