I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
