the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
