you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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