thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
