i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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