I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
