I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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