So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No subtext here. People are naked.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
