Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
