there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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