Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
