More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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