love makes seman taste better
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
