Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
