Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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