She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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