u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
honey bunches of taint.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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