No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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