smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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