Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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