She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
