And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
