He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
