Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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