i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
