I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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