I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
