3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
