let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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