Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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