This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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