Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
