did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
