Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
