That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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