You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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