Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
