Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
