Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
